Yesterday I discovered a new form of digital media and my eyes lit up. Today I browsed through its 25 page catalog of characters. (One of many catalogs.) Turns out many many of them are licensed depictions of Mario — even 8-bit flat Mario, and even of Boston Dynamics’ yellow creature-machines — even on skis. You can download them but there are corporate strings everywhere. Aesthetically it’s nice because the strings stay invisible.
They want $199 a year (or $12.99 per character) to remove the white netting of their watermark from your bit of image. This does nothing to address the corporate toes you’re in danger of mashing. It feels a little rushed to market, lumps to be massaged out — but maybe that’s just me.
Main thing is their characters catalog is as cloying as a rootbeer sunday triple fudge banana split with chopped candy on top. They are cutesy-pie adorable to the sensibilities of maybe a 12 year-old. My their eyes are big!
This at the same time the malodorous Tucker Carlson declares today’s demonstrations against racism “Definitely not about black lives.”
Presto, two strong urges joined. My desire to see Carlson trip face-first into a mass of Great Dane excrement and my desire to see what mischief could be done with white-netted Cute. Slapdash but heartfelt.
It should be noted that the only characters I noted who had been chopped of in the middle as if by fishmongers were the mermaid tails. Could it be they were inviting people to fantasize a snarky top? I took the bait.